By Ivy Lopez
Maybe you’ve felt it. That vague stirring beneath the bad burrito you ate when you looked up from your phone for 0.03 seconds and saw….someone.
But then—-you blinked. And it’s gone. The maybe-could-be Magical Moment has passed. Never to repeat again. You never got their name.
Later, while on the toilet, you wonder—-what if that was Meant to Be? What if you had missed The One?
Good thing you still have Craigslist. It’s no longer just for scammy sales or sleazy abductions. It has expanded to personal ads called Missed Connections for lonely wimps who want to believe that a glance, a smile, or a Thank You is a meet-cute that would likely lead to…..nowhere, really.
Here are some middling long shots by lonely wishy-washies who believe in the power of a free Craigslist post.
Awww. This is the plot of so many war movies. But wait. If you “talked for hours” on a loooong train ride, why didn’t you get her name and number?
And more importantly—-you’re a “free lance writer”?!?!
Kinda vague. To narrow it down, did she look like this?
When you say “we had a brief interaction” you mean you said “Excuse me” to go to your seat.
Now let me tell you the three reasons she never talked to you:
RED.
PLAID.
PJ pants.
Assuming you were amongst runners, how is Blue Shorts supposed to know which one you are. Unless——he was running away from something.
So, is that you in the black shorts below?
Wait. What? You never even got past the coffee stage and work talk? AND it’s been five years?
OMG.
You “smilled at another” and he “didnt see you. Untill” his “ride was passing by your beauty”??!
Run “Yellow shirt”. RUN!!!
Ivy is a Jesuit-educated lawyer, a career known for its comical courtroom dramas, so she naturally became a humorist. Her comedy channel @Humor Me Ivy is on YouTube.
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